I am doing it once again. I am leaving. That long trek across the globe that is as unforgiving as it is tedious. No longer do I feel the excitement of being on a plane, traveling unfathomable distances in mere days. Instead, knowing that I have done this before, I give into a quiet resolve. Only counting the day before I arrive into the parallel universe that is my other home, Nepal.

There is a strange cocktail of emotions that I experience every time I leave. Nostalgia, sadness, excitement at seeing what has changed, anxiety, trepidation, missing my family and friends even before I have left them. I inevitably try to cram in as many experiences as possible to produce fond memories until the next time I see them…

And, of course, a certain amount of inner chaos, guilt, and questioning goes on in the days leading to my flight… “Why do I do this? Why do I leave? Am I doing the right thing? Will I ever settle down again?”

The answer is always compelling to me, because I am not certain “why” I just “know.”

I am fully aware what is in store for me. I am taking the route I enjoy the most and with the best in flight movies. I love leaving Newark, New Jersey and waking up in New Delhi, India. It feels like crossing worlds, not continents.

As soon as I step off the tarmac, pass through immigration and grab my luggage and make my way towards the crowds of people yelling, the smell always hits, this overwhelming masala of smells that can only be found in Delhi. It is a combination of rotting garbage, sweet smells of chat stalls, curries, exhaust, and the essence human beings all mixed into an aroma that is choking the first time you smell it. Then and only then does the brain register the heat.

The heat is impossible, or one would think, but millions of people are still able to live- and thrive- in it. It just takes the body a little while to realize “I can do this…” All it takes is a little more focus than usual on breathing, and realizing that it really is impossible to suffocate because of the dense nature of the air.

I know I am going back to a Kathmandu that is in the throws of political chaos, fuel, water and food shortages, and limited electricity, which is really nothing new. In fact, I love getting a front row seat to the beginning of a new (maybe) Republic.

So this is just the beginning of yet another adventure. I invite everyone reading this to come along, as I am certain it will be as uncertain, chaotic and entertaining as before.